I’ve been asking myself that question over and over again since June 10th. You see, I got (re)married that day, and I’ve made the decision to take my husband’s name.
As a writer, I struggled with the notion of changing my name. Darcy Silvers rolls off the tongue a lot easier than Darcy Grabenstein. It’s more than my name. It’s my byline. It’s my identity. But I thought my new husband might cringe if I kept his predecessor’s last name.
Besides, if I want a really memorable name, I think I’ve hit the jackpot. (Although I envision a severe case of writer’s cramp every time I sign my name.)
The first time around, I wanted to keep my maiden name. In retrospect, however, Darcy Landy sounds rather singsong, don’t you think? So I caved in to my first husband’s request that I take his surname. After all, he argued, he was the only son in his family; he wanted his family name to carry on.
What about moi? I’m an only child, and my father passed away when I was in college. So much for my family name.
This time around, I could have kept both my maiden name and Silvers, the name I’ve used for the over two decades. But it’s a bit much.
My new husband and I even toyed with choosing an entirely new name. That thought lasted about 5 seconds.
In the end, I decided to become a Grabenstein (Grab as in “grab a bite to eat” – en – steen). I think because Micah totally left the decision up to me, I was less inclined to rebel and want to keep my “pen name.”
Just call me the writer formerly known as Silvers.
Darcy, I love hearing about your thought processes in marrying my cousin and deciding to take his name. I’m glad you’re helping keep my grandparents’ name alive. I don’t share it since my mother married out of the name obviously, but I do have to use it everytime I need to give my mother’s maiden name to someone who asks that ubiquitous question these days for billing purposes.
But as a writer myself, I believe once you’ve made a name for yourself, it’s important to keep that because it is a separate identity, and you’ve worked hard to “brand” it. So keep them both – and use them appropriately. Think of it as a “dba”. It’s your right – or your “write” – to own it! Go girl!
Comment by Debbie Unterman — June 30, 2012 @ 4:52 pm |